Everything Will Be Ok, It has to Be...

This is something that a friend once told me and I still stand by it. I can still remember being in college and freaking out about an assignment and its deadline combined with the expectations that the professor placed on all of their students. I always took my work ethic and grades very seriously, and the thought of not doing well would make me feel anxious and overwhelmed. Even now, I still will get this way from time to time but not as much as when I was in my overthinking heyday.

As I freaked out over the thought of not doing well, my friend looked at me with her big bubbly smile and told me confidently, "Everything will be OK, it has to be." I remember just looking at her and pondering, how could she be so confident without knowing the future? But then, I felt calm in her confidence and reassurance. She was right. Things somehow have their way of working themselves out.

Is Anybody Out There?

I stress out about a lot of things and before my husban passed, I would have him help me stay calm and centered. He was my rock and my safe place. I could always go to him and tell him everything that was bothering me and somehow, he always knew what to say to me to make me feel better. Since he has been gone, I have been struggling with stress. Sometimes I can manage it, but sometimes I can't. I have been trying to become more aware of my feelings and what is triggering them. Oftentimes, it boils down to me being alone. Going at everything alone. Raising my son alone, going through daily routines alone, eating alone, traveling about alone. It all can be very draining. Most of my days out revolve around chores or what a kindergartener would enjoy. I know that this is just some dreary season in my life, but it also feels very confusing and uncertain at times. I keep holding onto that fact that Allah swt is the best of planners and I need to trust His plan.

Bride Wars Wisdom

I think most of the time I seem composed and like I have things figured out, but in actuality I don't. On the inside, I'm anxious, scared, unsure, and lonesome. However, this isn't every second of every day. I have come to accept the fact that its OK to not have it together every second of everyday, like Emma so lovingly said to Liv in Bride Wars. I have come to accept the fact that this is my life right now and someday, somehow, things will all work its way out. Everything will fall into the right little places but in the meantime I will keep massaging my nerves as I remind them that everything will be OK, it has to be.

Sincerely,

With Hardship and Ease